Sometimes when I look in the mirror, I barely recognise myself. I run my hands through my curls, I run my fingers across my lips, and it feels like I am touching a stranger. I have said and done things that I never thought I would without hesitation, and it felt like I was just a bystander.
No matter what all the fucked up, popular quotes say, I don't believe that anyone ever finds themselves entirely. I don't think that anyone ever will make sense of everything that is inside their being.
And as scary and terrible it sounds, I think that's as beautiful as it is magical. We are all shores, and we all change everytime the ocean of life touches us, no matter how briefly.
Maybe we are not the destination; perhaps we are the roads which go endlessly changing with time.
Maybe it is not about finding yourself. Maybe it is about being a puzzle of too many beautiful moments linked with a tragic sense of nostalgia.
The point is that it isn't just death that we have to grief... It's life, it's loss, it's change, it's that moment when you know you fucked up. And the moment when you fucked up it's probably the one where everyone does... You waited... for him, for her, for someone, anyone to be there. You waited for your hope to become stronger while forgetting that you're the fire that lights up evey sparkle of hope.
